As I was contemplating my next post a funny thing happened to me that made me change my mind. I started to watch a movie that had a somewhat profound affect on me. If anyone has seen Seven Pounds you may know what I am talking about.
My wife of 10 years and I had a nice discussion afterwords that made us realize what is really important in life. Now let me just say that we have 6 yr old triplet boys Mikey, Ryan and Anthony.
Our lives changed forever.
Now getting back to the discussion. It all centered around the monotony of our everyday lives. Don't get me wrong because my wife and I do have a very good life. Healthy children, good job, nice house etc... but it seems like we are always looking for more. We get clouded by the everyday routines that we forget what is really important. Suzanne, my beautiful and loving wife, seems to think that there is so much we are missing out on. A honeymoon we never had, exotic trips, etc...
After watching the movie I told her I was going to make a conscious effort in trying to make a difference not only in my families lives but also people who I may be in contact with. I first thought it had to be a big impact but I realized my life is not a Hollywood movie.
So I started out this week concentrating on doing little things that many of us take for granted. For example, I decided to get some one on one time with my son Mikey. It may not seem like such a big deal but for Mikey it was. He was able to get my undivided attention. This weekend I am sending my wife away with her friend to the mountains of North Carolina to spend the day shopping, going to the spa, etc...I am also going to be volunteering my time to help coach in the local youth sports organizations.
This is going to be an ongoing challenge especially with my crazy schedule but I am determined to make a difference. I have always felt that we are put on this earth for a reason but we sometimes need to be reminded. Life goes by very fast trust me with 3 little guys it seemed like yesterday I was changing 21 diapers a day and making 18 bottles of formula a day. This year they started Kindegarten.
There are a lot of challenges that AR advertises that awards points, but I am just asking to make a difference.
These are the same thoughts that I have late at night when everyone else is asleep. I walk around the house and check on the kids. When I look at them asleep in their beds I realize what it it that really matters.
You are so right, Mike. I was just having a conversation with a colleague a little bit ago about how short life is and we have many priorities to get straight.
Seven Pounds is one of my all time favourite movies... Thanks for reminding me
Mike - Great Post! I went through a similar thought process after two of my neighbors passed away within three weeks of each other, both were fathers and had young children. After that I realized I could leave this planet at any moment and I asked myself what would my kids remember most about me? Back when this happened three years ago I'm not sure what they would have said, but now I know they could probably come up with a list a mile long.
One on One time with your son is Great! I have to reminde myself to shut up and just listen when my sons share with me a story. Rather than make a lesson out of everything, I always find it refreshing to see life from their point of view when I allow myslef too. My sons are 11 and 16, believe me, they'll tell ya things that you may not want to hear :) Great Post, thanks
You are right on! I run a real estate brokerage, teach classes, have served in real estate boards at every level and been REALTOR of the year but nothing holds a candle to being "Jordan's Mommy!" That is my favorite leadership role and it brings me great joy. When I coach agents I always tell them to find their "WHY" for what they do and mine is very much my beautiful twelve year old son! He has a compassionate heart for people and it blesses me to watch him walk through this life being the gentle spirit that he is! Enjoy the everyday things!
That's AWESOME, Mike! Congrats on already making a difference just by posting this Blog... I'm sure many others will want to follow suit!
Wow. I haven't seen the movie, but love Will Smith, so will see it this week. Just from reading the responses, I'm gathering that it's about life not being measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. As a mother of two little boys, 7 & 9, I try to make an effort to make every moment count because you really just never know. I try to always think about the things I say or do because it could be the last time you have the opportunity to speak to that person. I try to live so I won't have any regrets. The pressures and stresses of life get in, of course, and some days it's a real effort to leave a sweet, loving memory (or remembery, a combination of remember and memory, as my little boy says), and then wonderful people like Mike remind us of what is really important in the crazy life. Thank you, Mike!
Family comes first. And that movie was his best yet. I saw it a few weeks ago on HBO. Thanks for this wonderful post Mike and I'm glad it hit home with you :) With this post alone, I am sure you have made a difference already!
That movie was pretty incredible. Sometimes the things we do don't have to be that big...yesterday my husband was at the library. There was a woman with a baby in a stroller and a 4-year old by her side. She had selected several books for her 4-year old daughter and a couple of Disney DVD's. The librarian told her that she had a $3 fine and wouldn't be able to check anything out. The woman had left her wallet at home and told her 4-year old that they would have to put the books and movies back. My husband, standing behind her in line, told the librarian that he would pay the fine. The woman was so blown away that my husband would do such a thing. She asked for his address so she could mail a check. Of course, he refused and told her he was happy to help her out. Doing this little thing made his whole day and I'm sure it made hers!! A lesson we can all learn from.
Mike, Faith, Family and Friends. That's what really matters. I like your post.
Today is election day and I'm a poll worker. Our little precinct has been very busy as we have a mayoral election. It's a long day but one little thing I do to "make a difference."
If you haven't voted yet, the polls are open until 7:30.
Mike, Good for you! Making a difference in even just small ways is huge in the large picture. I have always been a volunteer. Some years I would clock 40 hours a week and work full time. I met some amazing people that were in my life for short periods of time that changed my life. I haven't seen the movie but my son was telling me this week I should watch it - now I really want to see it.
Mike, Congrats on your triplets! And it appears you are making a difference right in your own house. Good post and excellent reminder about what life is really all about.
This is a very good post. It hits on a lot of core issues that I am sure everyone thinks about. Good to know that I am not alone.
Great post...it's all about paying it forward (watch that movie!)
Life was meant to be an adventure, not a routine. It takes extra effort, especially with triplets, but kudos to you for getting beyond the basics that life demands to finding a way to make a bigger difference. I grew up seeing adults who got involved in community affairs and as a result, I never considered just focusing on family. It's important for your children's sake for them to see someone who makes a difference in other's live. Good for you!
Mike, Seven Pounds was a fantastic film that inspired a lot of people. It's so great to hear that it inspired you the same way. I know that the motive behind the doing of good things, is not to be recognized for it. However, eventually you will get recognized for it, and it will enhance other aspects of your life such as work. It would be a great thing if everyone would commit to this.
Thanks for the post.
Be well,
Brendan
I want to thank you all for your responses. You have all made a difference.
Mike, when I look back thru the years, I measure my accomplishments by my children (I've eight of them) and my grandchildren (many and growing), and not by how many houses I've sold. All those little things you do - don't belittle them. You'd be surprised at the ripple effect.
Michelle - that is great to hear. I am sure you are a great mom.
Penny - Pay It Forward is my favorite. I recently purchased it for my library.
You are right Gail and I have always told people it is the journey that is more important than the end result.
Brendan - Thanks and you are so right about not wanting to be recognized.
Hi Mike~ I have never seen Seven Pounds, but I will make it a point to see it. Have you seen Pay It Forward? That movie makes you start thinking about what is really important, and how the little things that you can do for others could bring happiness to others. The funny thing is, when you do for others, it actually brings happiness into your life too!
I have Vickie and have recently purchased it. I tear up everytime.
Mike, you might like my life mantra, from Gandhi, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." You do make an impact on the circle around you, and when you put effort in that area, you will see the change. Good luck with your new direction. I have been on that road for YEARS!!
I will check it out Gary. Thanks.
Mike ~ Ive been thinking about this too. Spend as much time as you can with your kids. Thye grow up quick and then move. I have two and my youngest graduated and is living with his sister at college toghther and I'm not with them. So enjoy, embace & love them before anything else.
Wow...I saw that movie and boy does it give one a look into appreciating and giving back...and more than you know...you gave back to all of us....so we can think twice too.
Mike - I really enjoyed reading this post - making a difference is so important! I think it's great that you are trying. We can all get so caught up in "life" that we forget to relax and enjoy our world!
Mike, I have a 2 1/2 year old that thinks I'm Zorro, Superman and Batman all rolled up into one. .
When he gets 5 minutes of my undivided time. . . I make him SOOOO happy !
He is my little man and I can't imagine having 3 times the happiness. . your post simplifies just that.
Seven pounds does make you think. I hope I never make a mistake like that. I stopped a lot of texting while driving after seeing that.
Mike, what an amazing point and very important lesson. We really need to make a difference in others lives. Thank you for the reminder. I want to go give my little guy a big kiss!
I saw that movie Seven Pounds and really enjoyed it as well. I think that this is a great challenge!
Mike, we signed up to Ring the Bells for the Salvation Army today. We can do our part for our community - and time with our family is the most precious time we have. Thanks for the reminder. Definitely going to see Seven Pounds.
Very nice post Mike and a gentle reminder to look for the good in ourselves and in others.
Hi Mike -- This is truly what life is all about. I only get one shot at being a dad and I never want to look back on my life and say: "If I only had __________". I play football/basketball/baseball with my 8-year old son for at least 1 hour every day, totally undivided, except when the dog gets on the basketball court and runs around like a maniac. Extrapolating that at the community level, etc., is what makes communities work.
My oldest started kindergarten a few weeks ago too, and he loves just a little individual attention. It does make a big difference.
Mike, excellent post! Isn't it funny how something that you read, or a movie you see, or something that someone says can be like an epiphany - an "ah ha" moment in your life. I think the one you received is an awesome one...making a difference in someone's life every day would be a wonderful goal to have - and to do. ;-)
Great post, it is well worth taking some time out to build the lasting memories and experiences that will be with you for a life time. Thanks for reminding us of the importance of balance and giving.
Mike,
You have given all of us a special gift by writing this entry. Thanks!
By the way, I just finished posting about how I love to listen to smooth jazz during my day. Tomorrow I will make sure that something extra goes into my day as well, like taking the time to write the thank you cards to my collegues, people at the title company who constantly help me, I have a long list to take care of! I think I will write them at the beach! I am moved to action by this post of yours.
Barbara Le Pine, Newport, Oregon
Mike...
Great Post... Anything that reminds you the final measure of your life will not be how many homes you have sold... but how you touched the people around you... Triplets... cool.
Time goes so swiftly. I have a 20 yr. old in college and I can't tell you where the time went. I now have 3 yr. old twins! I savor every moment because I know how fast it goes and we can't get it back. No matter what I am doing when my daughter calls from college...I take that call! Real Estate will always be there! Thanks for the post.
I used to do lots of volunteering when my girls were small (brownie leader, classroom mom, PTA, Freshair fund host, exchange student host, local operahouse restoration committee, etc) but have not done much in the last few years - uh 10 + years - I think it is time for me to do something again. I felt good when I was giving of myself. For many years I have felt something about myself I have not loved but wasn't putting a finger on it. I think I have found my answer. Thanks Mike.
I hear that often Monique..Thanks and I will.
I am so overwhelmed by all of your comments. I never expected this. It has been a pleasure to read all of your stories and comments. You have all made a difference in my life. Thanks so much!
Thank you from the Carpino Family!
Sometimes I think about everday people who were here hundreds of years ago. There are billions we will never know about. Did they make an impact on others and was that something that made the world better. I like to think that we should act like Deepak Chopra suggest in The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. One is giving without asking for anything in return. I hope that there is a world hundreds of years later where people will wonder about what I am thinking now. I would like to help in any way I can to insure a bright and better future. Thanks for the reminder.
You are very right Mike. Life is short and we need to enjoy every moment of it and appreciate everyone in our lives, family and friends. Great post.
I loved Seven Pounds. Thanks for the reminder, Mike.
Mike,
It is so easy to practice kindness towards everyone. It is the little things that make a difference, like letting someone ahead of us in line somewhere, or on the highway. It is taking the time to appreciate someone's service, take the time to find out how someone is doing, noticing that they are looking great...all this acts make a difference, and it is not just with strangers but with family and friends. Thanks for the beautiful words, and everyone's commentary, it is inspirting to see how responsive everyone is in this community!
It is the small things Ron and Alexandra. It was my boys birthday yesterday so I left them each a homemade birthday card and left it for them on the kitchen table. that is all they talked about when I got home from work. Thanks.
Great post. It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes, "Take time to enjoy the little things in life because someday you'll look back and realize they were really the big things."
I think it is important for us to take the time to do something that matters for someone else.
WELL WRITTEN! Funny how as human beings we put all the sand in the jar first (little, unimportant things, squeaky wheel gets the grease kind of things) then the pebbles (house, job, car, obligations) and then the jar is full and we don't have room for the BIG ROCKS (Vital and most important like family, friends, health and contributions to humanity). Ghandi had it right.........."Be the change you want to see in the world"
Thanks for the inspiration and for reminding us of what is really important. It IS the little things and the small contributions that we make to the people in our life and perhaps people that we will never know that mean the most. I wonder why that is so hard for us as humans to put into perspective? Well, there's another psych class! LOL!
Well said Marcella.
Do you remember all those bumper stickers a few years "Practice Random Acts of Kindness"? Where did they all go? I haven't seen one in years. Maybe it's time to bring them back. Thanks for raising the level of awareness.
Not a bad idea Peggy. Thank you for your comment.